Monday, 28 January 2013

What's With Those Glamourpuss Covers?

Glamourpuss #18 and #20 (March and July 2010)
Art by Dave Sim
GLAMOURPUSS:
(from the editorial, Glamourpuss #3, September 2008)
A lot of people have asked glamourpuss, "Why do the models on the covers have their eyes crossed and their tongues sticking out?"

(BTW, no one actually asked glamourpuss that. No one has actually asked glamourpuss anything about this stupid magazine. Better start faking some enthusiasm people. If glamourpuss walks, her alimony cheques are going with her and this funnybook is toast. Word -- as glamourpuss' Obama-supporter friends put it.)

For years, when glamourpuss has been reading her fashion magazines (twenty subscriptions and still climbing!) she'd see how thin the models were, how beautifully the clothes fit them, that the clothes had no stains on them or dropped or pulled threads or tears, that the clothes were brand new, beautifully colour-coordinated and the whole time glamourpuss was oogling the clothing, glamourpuss would have a sudden overwhelming feeling that the model was making a face at her ("Nyah, nyah! I'm thinner and more beautiful than you are and so are my clothes.") Even when glamourpuss would look back up the page at the models face and see her ordinary model face (bored usually avec "You want acting, honey, you pay for acting: for $50k an hour all you get is clean hair, 'tude and that's it.") as soon as glamourpuss looked away she was sure the model was making a face at her again.

Dr Norm once asked glamourpuss why she though that was.

Isn't it obvious? (glamourpuss replied, wondering not for the first time why she was paying this much an hour to someone so inutterably clueless) If glamourpuss was that thin, that beautiful and that well dressed, glamourpuss would be mentally crossing her eyes and sticking her tongue out at every woman who looked at her, aussi!

Glamourpuss (assisted by Dave Slim) published 26 issues of the Glamourpuss magazine between April 2008 and July 2012.

No comments: