Wednesday 13 May 2020

Screens


Benjamin Hobbs:

Two weeks ago I sent Dave six strips, five of which were included in LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY CORONA. This is the sixth:


Dave faxed some suggestions for rewriting this strip:



After reading his suggestions, I agree with Dave that the strip doesn't build to the punchline, although I disagree that the focus should be on the NUMBER of screens. There are several half ideas all crammed into one strip.  The ideas should have been spread out on a number of strips, focusing less on the number of screens, and more on the amount of screen time.

The finished strips will appear in future  Daily CIH?!

1 comment:

Ibis said...

My ten year old son is reading Vol. One and just laughing his ass off. "Dad, look! A cockroach." Shakes his head.

Somebody tell Dave, if you talk to him.