Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Fifteen Impossible Things To Believe Before Breakfast

DAVE SIM:
(updated from the original Tangent essay published in Cerebus #265, April 2001)

Fifteen Impossible Things To Believe Before Breakfast That Make You A Good Feminist:
  1. A mother who works a full-time job and delegates to strangers the raising of her children eight hours a day, five days a week does just as good a job as a mother who hand-rears her children full time.
  2. It makes great sense for the government to pay 10 to 15,000 dollars a year to fund a daycare space for a child so its mother - who pays perhaps 2,000 dollars in taxes - can be a contributing member of society.
  3. A woman's doctor has more of a valid claim to participate in the decision to abort a fetus than does the father of that fetus.
  4. So long as a woman makes a decision after consulting with her doctor, she is incapable of making an unethical choice.
  5. A car with two steering wheels, two gas pedals and two brakes drives more efficiently than a car with one steering wheel, one gas pedal and one brake which is why marriage should always be an equal partnership.
  6. It is absolutely necessary for women to be allowed to join or participate fully in any gathering place for men, just as it is absolutely necessary that there be women only environments from which men are excluded.
  7. Because it involves taking jobs away from men and giving them to women, affirmative action makes for a fairer and more just society.
  8. It is important to have lower physical standards for women firepersons and women policepersons so that, one day, half of all firepersons and policepersons will be women, thus more effectively protecting the safety of the public.
  9. Affirmative action at colleges and universities needs to be maintained now that more women than men are being enrolled, in order to keep from giving men an unfair advantage academically.
  10. Having ensured that there is no environment for men where women don't belong (see no.6) it is important to have zero tolerance of any expression or action which any woman might regard as sexist to ensure greater freedom for everyone.
  11. Only in a society which maintains a level of 95% of alimony and child support being paid by men to women can men and women be considered as equals.
  12. An airline stewardess who earned $20,000 a year at the time that she married a baseball player earning $6 million a year is entitled, in the event of a divorce, to $3 million for each year of the marriage and probably more.
  13. A man's opinions on how to rear and/or raise a child are invalid because he is not the child's mother. However, his financial obligation is greater because no woman gets pregnant by herself.
  14. Disagreeing with any of these statements makes you anti-woman and/or a misogynist.
  15. Legislature Seats must be allocated to women and women must be allowed to bypass the democratic winnowing process in order to guarantee female representation and, thereby, make democracy fairer.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

If you're going to attribute these sayings to feminists, you have to cite some feminist leaders who've said them.