These take too long, but they're too much fun (Shots Fired 2)

Hi, Everybody!

Mondays:

Since I'ma running faxes, remember The Last Day Remarqued Editions are now available Internationally? And I've been saying a variation of this for the last sixteen days or so:

Anyway, if YOU want YOUR copy of the Remastered The Last Day to be personalized (like mine is), you need to pay at CerebusDownload.com, then call (519) 576-0610 and leave a message for Dave explaining that you bought a copy (I'd say what the name that paid is, so Dave can verify with Eddie. Like if you're Biggs, but CorpseLighter77@email.com paid, I'd say "Hi Dave! This is CorpseLighter77@email.com, I paid for a Remarqued The Last Day at CerebusDownload.com, and would like it personalized "To my old friend Biggs!" please. I've been a fan since we used to bullseye whomprats in our T-16s back in Beggar's Canyon..." (Ya know that the tape DOES run out, right?...) OR, if you have the technology, you could fax your PayPal receipt to (519) 576-0955 to prove to Dave that you paid, and include your personalization request. Or if you know Eddie's email (I do. I know all sorts of stuff. Like the address of the Off White House. And the Ways of the Force. And how come Yoda was training Jedis when he was 100. It's all in the AMOC Editor's Book of Secrets...), you could email Eddie with your personalization request, and make HIM tell Dave to write "To Biggs!" on your Remarqued The Last Day that you bought from CerebusDownload.com for $99 Canadian Dollars.

Well, some of ya listened:

See, it REALLY is THAT simple... The International deal is:

The extra shipping for international is:
International Surface = $35 Canadian dollars - takes 1.5 - 3 months to get
or
International Air = $75 Canadian dollars - takes 1 - 2 months to get

Anyway,

Speaking of T8, The TMNT 8 IndieGoGo.

Speaking of SDOAR:

Hey Matt!

Could you add a link to SDOAR 2023 GFM at the bottom of your posts on AMOC?

https://www.gofundme.com/f/sdoar-2023

Thanks!

Jen

Speaking of Jen DiGiacomo:

You guys wanna sneak peak of Vark Wars 3?

The "Shots fired" this time, Jen, are plasma bolts fired from four KX9 laser cannons...

Speaking of CEREBUS IN HELL?:

New one!

CIH PRESENTS WAR IN HELL? & CIH PRESENTS WAR IN HELL? Signed

____________________________________

Heritage has three pages from Cerebus Jam #1! And Akimbo! And The Lone Vark & Lone Turtle paintings!

____________________________________

Oliver's Cerebus movie: The Absurd, Surreal, Metaphysical, and Fractured Destiny of Cerebus the Aardvark it's currently available on "Plex", "Xumo", "Vimeo On Demand", "Tubi". If you're in Brazil..., "Mometu", "Nuclear Home Video".

____________________________________

The AMOC TeePublic Shoppe

Up to 35% off site-wide:  

May 25-29

Tell your fans! Remind them that everything will be up to 35% off 

__________________________________

Next Time: Jen Strikes Back! (No she doesn't. She THINKS she does, but she doesn't.)

The Vark Wars! All Hail The Vark Wars! *woot* *woot*

Hi, Everybody!

Dave's calling on Thursday, but we're NOT doing Please Hold. Since the only question anybody is gonna send in is "What the hell happened on The Strange Death of Alex Raymond?" we're doing a little something I like to call The Bizarre Autopsy of The Strange Death of Alex Raymond: What Went Wrong, AND HOW!

Here's a little preview for you...

Heritage has the cover for issue #30, and some glamourpuss art too, NEW ADDITION: Strange Death of Alex Raymond preliminary sketches by Dave.

Be sure to order your copies of the newest Cerebus In Hell?: Batvark PENIS! or the "Censored for Grandma" variant: Batvark XXXXX!

Speaking of Cerebus in Hell?, I got my contributor copies of Vark Wars: Walt's Empire Strikes Back:

AND DAVE SIGNED THEM ALL!!!!!!!

Click for bigger

Seen here, the guy who wrote part of the left hand one, and the majority of the right hand one. And his Vark Wars shirt. Because nothing says success like "merch"... 

So I'm selling 'em!

Now, since they're all numbered out of 1860, you can have your pick of numbers, that I got*:

4

5

12-25

27

28

35-37

39-50

52-54

60-63

65-69

74-76

78-80

82-90

96-100

102-104

106

108-110

112 and 113

*Plus I'll sign and personalize your copy, so if you want a number that I don't have, I'll write that on it. I ain't proud. 

So, if you have a Cerebus Archive Number you want, I can put that on there.

I also have, 40 copies of the first Vark Wars, so if you want a copy of that, I got your back.

Just send an email to momentofcerebus@gmail.com, and let me know what you want:

Vark Wars

Walt's Empire Strikes Back

 or both**

How you want it:

unsigned (weirdo) (Vark Wars only)
signed by Dave (Walt's Empire only)
signed by Dave and me (Walt's Empire only)
signed by just me (Vark Wars)
crumbled into a ball and very much UNmint (weirdo...)
And if you want them "Bantha Wrangled" (I was credited on the first one as: "Matt Dow Bantha Wrangler") where I go through and note who wrote what.

 

Everything is shipped bagged and boarded. 

Four bucks US per issue, and I'll let you know how much shipping is (The USPS is such a pain.)

**I only have 40 copies of Vark Wars, so there's only forty sets of both available.

Okay, since I'm done shilling, and this ain't really a Moment,

Here's what Dave had to say about Vark Wars, and why we made a sequel:

 

This is one of my proudest moments (heh.).

Okay, 

Next Time: Oliver.

WALT'S EMPIRE STRIKES BACK promo (Dave's Weekly Update #328)

Hi, Everybody!

Heeeeeere's

Great new logo, right? Thanks Sean!

Problems viewing this video? Watch directly on YouTube...

VARK WARS: WALT'S EMPIRE STRIKES BACK 

Next Time: The backstory on this video?

*MAR201422-Vark Wars 2* Hey, look at that FOUR new printings of HIGH SOCIETY! (sorta.) *MAR201422-Vark Wars 2*

Hi, Everybody!

Green Dante/Green Virgil! Final order cut-off is this week, so get your orders in. Or don't. What am I, your mother?

Vark Wars: Walt's Empire Strikes Back! Buy two, I got kids to feed. Or don't. What am I, your father?

Click for big. (again)

_______________________________________________________________

Let's see, thanks to Superman's Frenemy, David Birdsong, I got my Cerebus campaign buttons:

It's good to be the king...

What else is happening?

According to the A Moment of Cerebus Twitter, the Strange Death of Alex Raymond is coming from IDW in 2021.

And this happened:
So, re-reading High Society for when I post it here six pages at a time, I noticed a little detail that stuck out to me.

Namely, these panels:

"Yeah Matt, so?" you say.

Well, it kinda stuck out at me that there's nothing on the crowns Fleagle is snatching.

But there is in other parts of High Society:

Unless Cerebus is counting the blank sides...

Well, yer ol' Interim Editor has a large collection ("IT IS NOT A HORDE WOMAN! I AM NOT A HOARDER"-Me, to my wife) of esoteric crap.

Including, reproductions of Confederate currency:

 

See, no backs.

Which has this on the envelope:

This becomes important a little further down...

So, having Dave's fax number, I sent up a fax. Saying (in part):

Page 40. Note the lack of a printed back (I actually have an explanation for that….)

I got a reply:

Well, anyone who has ever seen the AWESOMELY REMASTERED EDITIONS from Your Pal and Mine, Sean Michael Robinson.

Speaking of which, over at the Previews, they have four versions of High Society available:
Regular.

It's the TWELFTH printing during the ELEVENTH presidential election, THAT won't get confusing...

HEY WAIT A MINUTE! "clip out the button design and wear it proudly"? You're killing Birdsong Dave, KILLING him...

"Blue State"

"Red State"

And "Vote Cerebus"

Don't clip out the button design. Wait for Birdsong to sell the next round of them. (And I bet you a hundred crowns he'll have more than the one design...)

So, if you want the TWELFTH printing of High Society, that has twelve more pages remastered from original art since the last printing, and all the other neat new features listed up there, ALL FOUR versions have that. Then there are three versions with plates signed by Dave. (Red. Blue. And Vote Cerebus.)

Come November, (I'm assuming around election day.) I'll be posting which version sold the most and declare it the winner. (What happens then I have no idea, nobody tells me nothing...)

So, contact your retailer, and let them know which (slightly) sexier version of High Society you want. (And while this may seem like a ridiculous publicity stunt, (it is.) Diamond is OUT OF STOCK on High Society, so they need to reorder irregardless of the stunt. So, "Yay!" that High Society is still a seller.)

Oh, and here's my explanation for the crowns on page 40:

So, ya know, I got THAT going for me...

Next Time: Oliver in Hell? (I say yes, Tweeter is my version of Hell...)

Lee Thacker: "Tales From The Wedding Present" (Dave's Weekly Update #327)

Hi, Everybody!

Heeeeeere's

Great new logo, right? Thanks Sean!

Problems viewing this video? Watch directly on YouTube...

You can get your own copies here.

So Lee, how about it? Does The Wedding Present have anything to do with this:

Canadian minds wanna know...

And. It. Is. ON:

VARK WARS: WALT'S EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

I wrote that...

Of course Diamond cut off some of the solicitation. Here's the whole bit:

VARK WARS: WALT'S EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
Writers: Dave Sim, Matt Dow, Benjamin Hobbs, David Birdsong, Sean Robinson, Eddie Khanna, and a partridge in a pear tree
Artists: Gustave Dore, Dave Sim, David Birdsong, Benjamin Hobbs, and Sean Robinson
Cover Artists: Gustave Dore, Dave Sim, David Birdsong, Benjamin Hobbs, and Sean Robinson

THE VARK WARS SAGA CONTINUES!
Last time, our merry band decided to parody a beloved film franchise currently owned by a monolithic media corporation, what was the worst that could happen? And now, WALT'S EMPIRE STRIKES BACK!

Witness DANTE'S ennui when BATVARK steals his chick! See the denizens of the Infernal Realms get "Disney-fied"! Stand agast as CEREBUS learns the ways of the Farts from the Ancient Master: No-Duh! Scramble in Terror as you learn what THE UNBEDDABLE VARK is doing with all those severed hands! Gasp in shock as you discover which beloved CEREBUS IN HELL? character has fallen to the Dark Side and become DARTH [REDACTED]!

VARK WARS: WALT'S EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! YOU'LL LAUGH, YOU'LL CRY, YOU'LL KISS 4 BUCKS GOODBYE!

REMEMBER: THE FARTS WILL BE WITH YOU.... ALWAYS.

I don't have the promo strip, YET!
I do now:

Click to see it BIG!

I also don't have the video, YET! (But my bits are @#$%ING EPIC!)

Next Time: I'll be pimping Vark Wars: Walt's Empire Strikes Back. Oh....and talking about Cerebus. But, mostly pimping Vark Wars: Walt's Empire Strikes Back....

SHENANIGANS!!!!!

Hi, Everybody!

Green Dante/Green Virgil!

And 133 backers pledged $17,697 to help bring Cerebus Archive Number 8 to life.

Normally, I'd run all the nifty comments Dave left, but...uh...you can read 'em at the link.

I wasn't there for the live Q&A.

"WHAAAAAAT?!?" you say.

Yeah, I was at the mall with my family.

But this happened:

My kids in a little corvette.

The mall had a little blue corvette.

I made them ride it.

I told them to act like they were about to hit a tree...

Just picture this as:

This:

Click for more tree...

What?

That's not moment enough for you people?

Okay, yesterday Oliver had a link to a tweet containing a link to this new interview with Dave.

My favorite take-away?

This:

PS: Anything else in the cards for 2020? 

DS: The Weekly Updates -- a new one every Friday at A Moment Of Cerebus -- continue, God willing, as does my Please Hold For Dave Sim dialogue with A Moment Of Cerebus head honcho Matt Dow the first Thursday of every month which usually runs an hour or two. And A Moment Of Cerebus continues to have a new posting daily.

And:

My part of the Cerebus In Hell? #1's is (are?) done through February 2021. Walt's Empire Strikes Back #1 (May, 2020 Matt Dow and various)

I thought it was April, but I'm probably wrong...

Attractive Cousins #1 (June, 2020); The Amicable Spider-Vark Annual #1 (July, 2020 48 pages); Spider-Whore #1 (August, 2020); Batvark Penis #1 (September 2020); Vault Of Cerebus #1 (October, 2020 me and Benjamin Hobbs); The Amazing Batvark #1 (November, 2020) Cerebus In Hell? 2021 #1 (December, 2020 me and various); Unnamed Vark Wars #1 (January, 2021 Matt Dow and various)

Oh $#!*!!! I guess I should be writing this...

Cerebus The Duck #1 (February, 2021) and Strangers In Cerebus #1 (March, 2021 Benjamin Hobbs and Laura McFarland).

So, now you know what Hobbs'll be talking about for the next year.

Next Time: I come up with something at the last minute...

LAST CALL YA'LL!!!: Vark Wars: The T-Shirt!

Hi, Everybody!

Well, I wasn't planning on posting this, but I've been given confirmation that the Vark Wars T-Shirt will NO LONGER be available after 2019. So if you want one, act NOW!

Sexy...

The Vark Wars Shirt:
T-Shirt
Long sleeve T-Shirt
Sweatshirt
And for the ladies: The Ladies T-Shirt

And for you Brits:
Vark Wars Yellow Logo Tee T-Shirt
Vark Wars Yellow Logo Tee Sweatshirt
Vark Wars Yellow Logo Tee Long Sleeve T-Shirt

And for you "Furiners":
Vark Wars gelbes Logo-T-Stück T-Shirt
Vark Wars gelbes Logo-T-Stück Sweatshirt
Vark Wars gelbes Logo-T-Stück Langarmshirt

And: The Varking Dead (Wanna hear the theme song?)

Friend to the Blog, Greg Hyland is running the next volume of The Monster Atlas on Kickstarter. (It's gonna have Gerard art like volumes 1 and 2.

Next Time: "Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind..."

"On the first day of Christmas my true love got for me..."

Hi, Everybody!

(Here's the part where you forward this to your (non-Cerebus fan) loved ones.)

Hello, loved ones of a Cerebus fan.

It's that time of year where you need to get that adorable weirdo who loves that obscure Canadian comic book a present for Christmas (way to wait until the last minute...)

So, here's a list of things they would LOVE:

First, you could order them The Silver Cerebus, or The Varking Dead (although those won't be out until next year, so you'd have to wrap up the order confirmation.)

Or, if they like the pretty backgrounds, Friend to the Blog, Greg Hyland is running the next volume of The Monster Atlas on Kickstarter. If he gets another six hundred and ninety-one bucks (Canadian, not even REAL money!) it will have Gerhard art! (Everybody loves that!) (The campaign doesn't end for forty-one days, so this is another one where they're getting the Early Bird Package.)

The Vark Wars Shirt:

T-Shirt

Long sleeve T-Shirt

Sweatshirt

And for the ladies: The Ladies T-Shirt

And for you Brits:

Vark Wars Yellow Logo Tee T-Shirt
Vark Wars Yellow Logo Tee Sweatshirt
Vark Wars Yellow Logo Tee Long Sleeve T-Shirt
And for you "Furiners":
Vark Wars gelbes Logo-T-Stück T-Shirt
Vark Wars gelbes Logo-T-Stück Sweatshirt
Vark Wars gelbes Logo-T-Stück Langarmshirt

(All these go away at the end of the year, so BUY NOW!!!)

Avalible for ever (so far...):

US: Approval Is An Authoritarian Construct Tee
UK: Approval Is An Authoritarian Construct Tee

Germany: Oddly Amazon Deutsche didn't approve of a shirt that says "Approval Is An Authoritarian Construct", so order from the Brits...

Then there's the Graphitti Design Merch:

The "He Doesn't Love You" Shirt

"Cerebus For Dictator" Shirt

"Young Cerebus" Pin

"Cerebus the Barbarian" Pin

"Cerebus the Candidate" Pin

"Cerebus the Prime Minster" Pin

"Cerebus the Pope" Pin

(Yeah... none of these will make it by Christmas, either I should have done this post a month ago, or you shouldn't have been such a slacker and waited on me...)

Anyway, more stuff you can't get by Wednesday:

"Official" Bootleg Cerebus "Evening Cuppee" coffee mugs.

The "Official" Bootleg Cerebus "Evening Cuppee" Coffee Mugs. Ten bucks apiece. Comes with a Certificate of Authenticity. (I suppose if you e-mail momentofcerebus@gmail.com, I CONCEIVABLY could get them in the mail on Monday and with SUPER EXPENSIVE SHIPPING... they won't show up for Christmas (what do you think this is, a Hallmark Movie?))

A SIGNED* copy of Vark Wars! 

*well, Signed by me, Matt Dow (I did write like half of it (including some of Dave's favorite strips...).) Ten bucks American. E-mail momentofcerebus@gmail.com

Also:

Cerebus #1.

Next Time: Oliver, probably...

An early Christmas present, just for you....

Hi, Everybody!

The Silver Cerebus

And Dave's calling on Thursday. Get your questions in. momentofcerebus@gmail.com, or just comment here.

_____________________________________

Well, I got nothing.

Nothing in the Ol' AMOC Mailbag.

Nothing pressing from Up North.

And, I don't really wanna spoil Vark Wars 2: The Wrath of Kahn. (Okay, little tease):

"Matt hard at work" OR: "What's a 'Star Wars'?"

 So, here's my script:

Strip #1:
Inset panel in panel one: A comet or meteor shooting through the sky crashing into the ground. SFX on bottom of inset: BOOM
Panel one: A smoking crater in hell (I'd use the Nietzsche panel and take him out.) with two black half circles rising out of it. Robotic caption: It's a world of hopes And a world of fears
Panel two: The black circles have risen out of the crater, and revealed themselves as an Imperial Probe Droid with Mickey Mouse ears. It’s hands end in Mickey Mouse gloves. Robotic caption: There's so much that we share That it's time we're aware It's a small world after all
Panel three: Close-up of Batvark looking through binoculars. The Imperial Probe Droid is reflected in the binoculars. Robotic caption reflected in binoculars: dlrow llams ,llams a s'tI ,lla retfa dlrow llams a s'tI ,lla retfa dlrow llams a s'tI ,lla retfa dlrow llams a s'tI
Panel four: Close-up Batvark with the binoculars lowered. Caption Batvark: Well shit....
After-gag: As if burning for eternity wasn't bad enough without THAT stuck in your head!

And then, there was my "storyboard":

Click for something that starts with "Aw"-ness ("Awful" "Awesome" you decide....)

 And then here's the "completed" strip*:

Click for the glory!

Merry Christmas One and All!**

Okay, see ya tomorrow!

Next Time: High Society?

*Nothing's completed until Dave signs off.

**Sorta.

Just the Fax Ma'am (A Vark Wars Story.)

Hi, Everybody!

Vark Wars comes out tomorrow, it's too late to get yourself a Vark Wars shirt when you go pick it up, but don't forget to order your House of Cerebus and The Silver Cerebus, your life can't be complete without them*.

Speaking of the Vark Wars, at the end of Steve Peters Week 2, I faxed Dave the "Steve Peters Week 3-D" gag, and he faxed back:

So, there's gonna be a Vark Wars 2.

The Cerebus in Hell? brain-trust and I got to work.

Click to see the NOT FINAL cover bigger....

My first thought was a teaser in the back of the issue before:

Dave said he'd bump whatever issue of CiH? was on the schedule to do Vark Wars 2. so THIS strip goes on the inside back cover to the issue BEFORE Vark Wars 2:

Inset panel in panel one: A comet or meteor shooting through the sky crashing into the ground. SFX on bottom of inset: BOOM
Panel one: A smoking crater in hell (I'd use the Nietzsche panel and take him out.) with two black half circles rising out of it. Robotic caption: [Redacted to NOT spoil the strip-Matt]
Panel two: The black circles have risen out of the crater, and revealed themselves as an Imperial Probe Droid with Mickey Mouse ears. Robotic caption: [Also Redacted.-Matt]
Panel three: Close-up of Batvark looking through binoculars. The Imperial Probe Droid is reflected in the binoculars. Robotic caption reflected in binoculars:[So much redaction....-Matt]
Panel four: Close-up Batvark with the binoculars lowered. Caption Batvark: Well shit....
Text bottom of panel four: COMING SOON: VARK WARS WALT'S EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (with that as the Vark Wars Walt's Empire Strikes Back Logo)
After-gag: [Redacted because it's not funny with out the other stuff-Matt]


I can draw a prototype if the staging is unclear...

Well, Superman's Frenemy: David Birdsong said, "Yes."

I drew this:

Click to see the glory! [Uh, that's NOT the REAL dialogue...-Matt]

Well, Benjamin Hobbs said:

Can we just run that as is?

Well, I faxed up to Dave and said:

I’m not gonna lie Dave, I WAS just gonna storyboard the strip, but then I thought, “all I’m doing is laying out the panels, I don’t need to use the ACTUAL dialogue, they have the script.” And much like the penciled Martin Luther King (that’s says “Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout Dave Sim?”) in my first glamourpuss pitch, the alternate dialogue JUST POPPED IN THERE…

I think it’s funny.

I’ve been quietly laughing and saying “I’ma kill your stupid dick…” to myself every ten minutes since.

What have you turned us into?!?

Mr. the Dow

 And got this response:

But, alas, Dave also said that he's not running a teaser. It's strip #1 now.

So, there ya go.

I'm thinking I might do drawings of the whole book, and release it as "Vark Wars: The WTF Edition" (Would anybody buy it? Sound off in the comments....)

Next Time: Vark Wars comes out. Hobbs has more details....

*Well, it could be, but would it be complete, really?

It's a long trek out to the ol' AMOC Mailbox, what with the two mile long driveway, and the servants are all hunting, so it's up to me, and I'm no spring chicken, but it's gotta be done...

Hi, Everybody!

So, the Vark Wars is coming out on Wednesday (if you're a Prime member, you could pick it up from your LCS in a Vark Wars shirt and blow their G__ D___ MINDS! (Free two day shipping!) (And while you're there, you can order House of Cerebus and The Silver Cerebus!) (Sh*t... that'd be a pretty full day...), and you'll all get to finally read it.

I read it when I got my copies from Dave.

I signed and sent a copy to Benjamin Hobbs, and he sent one back:

In case you can't read it, it says: "HEY MATT! THANKS FOR DEFACING A COPY OF VARK WARS AND SENDING IT TO ME! I'M RETURNING THE FAVOR! ULTRA-RARE "HALO" EDITION! ONE-OF-ONE! WOW!"

And then....he drew little halos on everybody. EVERYBODY!!!:

Click for bigger insanity.

He also drew mustaches on people....

I love this, but I HATE it! Because I didn't think of it!!!

He even did this:

I need some of those sold out issues too...

And to add insult to injury, he included these:

I made C.O.A.s for all the issues I signed. His are funnier....

And if all that wasn't funnily horrible enough, he ALSO sent me this:

Click to see it in all it's majesty.

(It's at this point, that I feel compelled to note that in the original unfinished (and unpublished) Iguana VS Beer #1, there's a running motif that at the end of every round, I declared a winner between Iguana and Beer. There'd be a caption box that would say: "WINNER: Beer!" or "WINNNER: Iguana!" depending on how the round went. All I can do is the following.)

You want a hilariously goofy signed Vark Wars? Comment on Hobbs post on Wednesday, and maybe he'll sell you one.

Want one signed by me? (I mean, I DID write like half the issue...) Email momentofcerebus@gmail.com, and let me know, $4 (USD) plus shipping (which is like a buck or two, and YES, I ship to Timbuktu and all points in-between.).

Next Time: I expect the email from Oliver any minute now...