Saturday, 18 July 2026

Please Hold For '82 Tour Notes July 9th, 2026

Hi, Everybody!

Well I done knuckled down and edited the hours of audio into video with Dave's latest on the '82 Tour Book. As you all should know by now Dave's CONTINUING the Please PAY For Dave Sim format. If you want more '82 Tour Book discussion, go HERE, and pay for "Dave Sim 82 Tour Book". But if you'd rather hear more stereotypical Please Hold (*shudder*) "content", go HERE and pay for "Please Hold For Dave Sim". Either way, I have to amuse myself in the Editing Suite assembling these things fight ADHA brain and focus on getting these things done... 

The latest from Eddie for the July round for August is:

So, Audio (for the poor bastards who like searching for the visuals (you people are *SICK*, ya know that, right?)...):

Videos (that I slaved over for you don't even begin to realize how long...)
Part 1:

Part 2:

So, I kept getting hit with "violations" for using authentic 1982 music in the intros for these things. I decided to revisit the robot factory and have the 'bots write a jingle. It was commented that somebody misses the clip of Benny the Bouncer I used as the intro to Please Hold For Dave Sim, well, since these things AREN'T Please Hold For DAVE SIM, I'm using the new-special-world-killing-skynet-lovin' music for '82 tour "product". Benny will be back as soon as PHFDS returns.

But speaking of the robot tunes, somebody asked about the lyrics. Part of them (a very small part, like two lines...) is AI generated. The rest comes from filler text The Waverly Press used in an earlier version of the Tour Book, that was written sometime in the past by Dave:

I edited out the Cerebus Archive (comic series bits, "Hi. Are you Harry?"), and added the chorus (which I wrote most of, after getting a few lines from the robot.). To wit:
[Verse 1]
To say that it was unusual for him to be cleaning a closet is to understate the case dramatically. Only in the most extreme circumstances of love lost, botched or mislaid did the nest cleaning urge strike. At these times, the debris of his past become the most immediate casualty. Like a paleontologist gone mad, the strata of directionless existence were stripped from their resting places, examined, and, more often than not discarded with varying degrees of vehemence. Letters, pictures, notes, phone numbers scribbled on matchbooks, a q-tip covered in sparkle paint (don't ask). Several years worth of trinkets and stuff and nonsense. A cathartic release as elemental as elimination. Layer by layer, 'til the subjects became as remote as faintly-remembered characters in last year's best-seller.
At the bottom of the pile, a cloth-covered hardbound book. A diary covering a four week period in the last year of his marriage.
**
[Chorus]
Dave Sim’s Nineteen Eighty-Two Tour Book
Vintage memories and photos too
I’m flipping through the maps and notes
Twenty-five cities visited by these two

Dave Sim’s Nineteen Eighty-Two Tour Book
Wait why is there a lengthy digression on Chris Claremont?
Why are there pages and pages of wedding photos?
I guess we'll see what Dave wants?

[Verse 2]
He didn't reed the diary, just sat turning it over in his hands, riffling the pages of closely spaced scribbling. The diary had been his parent's idea. They kept diaries of Major Vacations like their Trip to England. So you won't Forget and can Relive it. Typically, he thought of it in commercial terms. A tour book filled with sketches and photos, a piece of comic book history. The tour book tried on several formats like ill-fitting clothes before being abandoned to some future day.

[Chorus]
Dave Sim’s Nineteen Eighty-Two Tour Book
Vintage memories and photos too
I’m flipping through the maps and notes
Finding old sketches as you do

Dave Sim’s Nineteen Eighty-Two Tour Book
Everybody looks like it's the seventies still
Lots of beige. LOTS of Beige
Stair too hard and you'll get ill.

[Verse 3]
The marriage had receded into those compartments of his mind reserved for periods of his life that could be encapsulated under a single title; Public School, Senior Public School, High School, The Unemployed Drop-out. "I was married for five years Barump-bump.
and they were the happiest three years of my life".
He didn't have to reed the diary to know that it would re-open several cans of worms. The fans loved the commentaries in his reprint volumes. Although they were self-serving, not well thought-out, and, consequently, embarrassing for him to re-reed, they were popular.
He would get Karen to type up the diary and then decide what to do with it.

[Chorus]
Dave Sim’s Nineteen Eighty-Two Tour Book
Vintage memories and photos too
I’m flipping through the maps and notes
And all the vintage interviews

Dave Sim’s Nineteen Eighty-Two Tour Book
Editing these things and finding fonts
Remastered photographs colored correct
I guess we'll see what Dave wants?

[Verse 4]
IN hard type it was interesting. There were a few confidants who red the typeset copy. They enjoyed it. There was something missing. Having the text typeset that quickly was a dead giveaway. This was not all it. Something was definitely missing. Until it could be located, the typeset pages disappeared into the bottom drawer of Karen's file cabinet.

[Synth solo]

[Verse 5]
Sara-bus was the name of the magazine. Her sister and brother provided the Aardvark and Vanaheim of the publishing company's name. When they realized that "Sir-ber-us" had been misspelled, he ad-libbed that Sara-bus was the name of the Aardvark mascot cartoon. Sara-bus the aardvark. It had a nice ring to it.
The 'bots have a hard time with homophones (It'll read read as read.) Hence the phonetic spellings. (Cerebus usually goes ok, but Cerberus was a nightmare...) I tried like a dozen versions before I hit on one that didn't have a ton of cyber-weirdness. Part 5 has the chorus only version I did when I was trying to get a shorter version. 
______
The article Eddie sent. (It's crap. It's total clickbait crap. And I had to save the photos so I could send them to Dave, THEN reformat them so the video editing software would accept them. TOTAL. CRAP.)
______
I found a couple of New Mutants Demon Bear originals on Heritage (including the one Dave wanted.) 
______
Progress on my X-Men four page mock-up (Not Birdsong's, although I'll probably send it to him to make pretty...) continues. I just need to find character posters from the movies.

And then do it again for the Batman section when Dave realizes that the photo of him with Denny O'Neil means mentioning the BILLIONS that Batman has made at the box office. Yay.
______________________________
Friend to the Blog James Banderas-Smith has launched a Kickstarter for the Seventh issue of Papa Balloon and Cactus (his Ninth issue overall). 
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You can get all 16 volumes of Cerebus, many of them Remastered (but probably NOT Guys) for $99 CANADIAN at CerebusDownloads.com (More if you want the Remastered Cerebus Guide to Self-Publishing...)

On sale for $49 on the July 20th:

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My friends at the Waverly Press, are moving their office, and to lighten the loads, they're temporarily cutting prices on their remaining Cerebus inventory on their eBay store starting this weekend. They're gonna be gradually listing more things in the coming days and any orders placed next week will receive new ‘82 Tour promo cards. So if you're interested, maybe stalk their eBay page like a crazy person...

I believe that most of the '82 Tour stuff has sold.
________________
Shane Foulds sent in:
Matt! I hope all is well with you. In case you or any of the SDCC attending AMOCers are interested, while the Eisner awards are Friday night, apparently the HOF ceremonies are held Friday morning (details below). Thanks as always, -Shane

Send pics/vids if you go!

Next Time: Old Cerebus comics. SOMEBODY has to post them...
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