Saturday, 10 February 2018

Breaking: Black Box-Gate (Major Revelations!)

Hi, Everybody!

I got another "missive" from our old pal "Debbie Does Dallas":

TWO RIVERS, WI--A Moment of Cerebus' highly-placed source, who is familiar with the matter, speaking (sigh) once again on the condition of anonymity has sent another dispatch.  To Matt Dow's house.

According to the source, who used to be "high-placed", but who (after the Grammar Police got to him) has become a "highly-placed" source, "there is not really much breaking news.  Back to you, Brad."

AMOC is not really sure who Brad is.  There was a Brian who used to work here, but AMOC thinks he went off to study whales...or, something...

Aaaanyway, Matt Dow told the highly-placed source, according to AMOC, that he would prefer not to get dispatches sent directly to his house.

"It wakes up the kids," he said.

Additionally, the highly-placed source , who is (very) familiar with the matter at hand, and is still speaking on the condition of anonymity (because, you know, he can), spoke about the Black Boxes.

"They're still gonna be * black* boxes and the first one (OWHBB#1) will have four OWH one-of-ones and six more very rare OWH copies.  Back to you, Brad."

More updates as they come in.
No they won't.

Because I got a message from "Debbie Does Dallas's"  source.

(That's right, Matt's got da skillz. Da skillz 2 pay da billz!)

Anyway, I can confidently reveal that "Debbie Does Dallas" is none other than:

(pause for dramatic effect)

JEFF SEILER (DUN! DUN! DUN!!!) (Also, the call is coming from inside the house. The cops say you should GET OUT! GET OUT NOW!)

And, the anonymous confidential source, speaking on the condition of anonymity because he isn't authorized to discuss it, said:

For an "un-redacted" copy of this message, send $300 (American) to A Moment Of Cerebus, in small unmarked bills
Oh WHO could this Off-White House source be?!? I mean, it could be ANYBODY...who works at the Off-White House... Dave, it's Dave. You guys figured that out, right?
So now that Jeff Seiler has been UNMASKED(!!!) as the vile, unrepentant, leaking, whistle-blowing scum he is... something something something... (I admit, that sentence kinda got away from me.)

An AMOC recreation of: How Jeff Got Involved In "Black Box-Gate"
Now that we all know Jeff is one of the "inside people," he can start answering the BIG questions:

  1. What did he know?
  2. When did he know it?
  3. How much is he gonna pay to keep me from posting about it?
  4. How shiny is TOO shiny for the Black Boxes?
  5. What are we gonna obsess about now?

Next time: Jeff's denials: The Cover-Up Begins...


Travis Pelkie said...

Wow. I am shocked... or something.

So shocked that I'm not going to look for a link, but just say that the NY Times has an article about Jimmy Buffett's Broadway musical that Jeff might be interested in.

Anonymous said...


Steve said...

You know, this whole OWHBB set of posts has been the most fun I've had at AMOC in quite a while. Some times snark plays well.


and Jeff's leading the charge on the OWHBB's is a bit like leaving the fox in charge of the henhouse - except the birds flown the coup

Jeff said...

Steve, when Dave first told me about this project, I had several responses, not the least of which was, "you know, this could be a little tricky."

To which Dave laughed heartily and replied, "this could get a LOT tricky! Especially if you'e the winning bidder."

But my take on it is that my money spends just as well as anybody else's money. And has just as many minute particles of crap and cocaine on it.

Damian T. Lloyd, Esq. said...

So the "S." in "Jeff S." stands for "sock-puppet" as well as "sycophant".

-- Damian

Steve said...

Jeff -- I doubt Dave knows anyone who is NOT a Cerebus fan who would be available to help him on projects like this and thus avoid the appearance of insider / conflict of interest sorts of vibes.

But I'm also confident that you're involvement in a project you're also interested in matters not one whit to any of us. Dave needs help, you're available -- get the job done!

In the spirit of wanting to maximize income to Dave it seems to me that the lowest cost auction venue would be right here on AMOC. eBay would have their fees (not unreasonably so), and I can't imagine there's enough interest in even OWHBB #1 among non-Cerebus fans to warrant trying to float this boat on Heritage or Comic Link.

But it would be so wonderful to be proved wrong!


Jeff said...

Well, Steve, the guy at ComicLink got back to me very quickly when I emailed him, and he expressed definite interest. I am leaning towards ComicLink because their commission charge is only 10% of what the seller gets and the Buyer's Premium is only 3%. Heritage tacks on a 19%(!) and they have that stupid live auction at the end of bidding on every item. But I kinda like your idea of holding the auctions (or, "auctions") here. Matt, whaddaya think? All of the money goes directly to Dave?

Jeff said...

Er, that should have read "19% BP".