Friday 22 January 2021

CEREBUS THE DUCK (Dave's Weekly Update #375)

Hi, Everybody!

Previously-recorded-at-an-earlier-date from 
the Off-White House in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, It's:
Aardvark-Vanaheim Founder and President:
Dave Sim, with his Weekly Update:

And coming the first Wednesday in February: Cerebus in Hell? 2021 (the cover screw up delayed it a week...)

AND: Also for the orderings, Swords of Cerebus in Hell? 

Swords of Cerebus in Hell? 
(I dunno why there's no video. Let's blame Jeff Seile...I mean Sean Robinson.)

Speaking of promo Billy Joel parody videos, I'd like to point out, this is a rip off of a parody I wrote:

And now we return to Dave's Blog & Mail, already in progress:
Dave started his Blog & Mail #123 (January 12th, 2007) with:
LATTER DAYS (AUGO31920)
No. I quite agree. There is no way to write a song parody about AUGO31920 unless there was a theme song to Beverly Hills 90210 with lyrics. Actually, I bet Matt Dow could do it.
Well, not one to let a challenge go unanswered, I wrote:
Latter Days (AUG031920)
To the theme song for "Green Acres"

LATTER DAYS (AUGO31920) is the phonebook for me.
Bible commentary is the life for me.
Three Stooges parody in the front of the book.
Keep your "Watchmen", just give me that "Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck".

HIGH SOCIETY (STAROOO71) is where I'd rather stay.
I get allergic reading commentary all day.
I just adore the Moon Knight parody.
Dah-ling I love you but give me the Regency.

...Spore's Spores.
...The "wuffa wuffa" guys chores.
..."Cerebus Bound".
...Elrod's around.

You are my wife.
Good bye, Iestan life.

LATTER DAYS (AUGO31920) we are there.
Which Dave ran in Blog&Mail #206 (April 5th, 2007). He continued:
Dave: That was great, Matt. Just swell.
Me: You can write ANYTHING into a parody of "Green Acres".
Dave: Seriously? I heard that the Warren Commission Report doesn't "scan" properly on the "goodbye city life" part.
(ignoring me)
Me: When I first saw the "challenge", Darth Vader's voice popped into my head and said, "All too easy."
Dave: So your lobotomy incision still hasn't healed properly.
(ignoring me)
Me: And it was. As I said, writing anything into a parody of "Green Acres" is easy. So here's a parody using (AUGO31920) sung to the tune of Billy Joel's "For The Longest Time":
Augo three one nine two-oh "Latter Days"
Augo three one nine two-oh "Latter Days"

Hey have you read Cerebus "Latter Days"?
Thirty Five bucks is all you gotta pay
That's a steal to me
Guaranteed hilarity
That's what you get in "Latter Days"!!!

First Cerebus is a shepherd guy
Then he plays five bar gate until "Coffee" Dies
The Three Stooges appear
We bet you'll laugh off your rear
When you purchase a copy of "Latter Days"!!!

Augo three one nine two-oh "Latter Days"
Augo three one nine two-oh "Latter Days"

Then Cerebus is bound until he could plotz
The next was untitled (hey Dave thanks a lot!)
Then there was "Uh Oh"
(Gee Dave sure is a pro)
You can see it all in "Latter Days"!!!

Then came Todd "Far lane" McSpahn
He tried ta make
Cerebus his pawn
But Cerebus came up with a plan
A gift for the land
And that gift's name was Spore's Spores

We don't want to give the whole thing away
Otherwise why would you pay?
So give it a shot
You will thank us a lot
When you buy a copy of "Latter Days"!!!

If you're worried about the "Chasing YHWH" stuff
(The Bible commentary)
It is not that rough
You might think that Dave's theories are $#!*
Just work your way through it
And you'll be at the end

And hey what about Gerhard's backgrounds
When we first saw them we said "Oh Wow!"
So buy a copy
Tell them you were sent by me
And you really want to own "Latter Days"!!!

Augo three one nine two-oh "Latter Days"
Augo three one nine two-oh "Latter Days"
Augo three one nine two-oh "Latter Days"
Augo three one nine two-oh "Latter Days"
Augo three one nine two-oh "Latter Days"
Augo three one nine two-oh "Latter Days"

Me: So there ya go.
Dave: Amazing. Absolutely amazing.
Me: Ya said I could probably do it and I did.
Dave: It was as if you were channeling Christie Brinkley or something.
Me: Took me three hours.
Dave: Three hours to write a song parody and according to Paula you still can't remember to pick up your socks and underwear off the floor.
Me: Sorry about the "You might think that Dave's theories are $#!*" line, I couldn't think of anything to rhyme with the next line.
Dave: Oh, no, that's fine. I've never known how to pronounce $#!* and now I do. I always read it as having the dipthong on the #. Good thing this is the Internet by the way.
Me: If you wanna tweak it, go for it.
Dave: Pardon me? Oh, the song. I was going to say, I haven't tweaked anything since 1998.
Me: I did all the hard work.
Dave: Three hours worth from what I understand.

So what I'm saying, is: I WANT A ROYALTY ROBINSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rigamarole:
_________________________________
_______________________________
Your store will be on sale:
Jan 13 – 16
Jan 27 – 29
Tell your fans! Remind them that everything will be up to 35% off! That means $13 tees, $20 phone cases, $30 hoodies, and way more.
________________________________

Next Time: Cleaning up around here...

4 comments:

Jeff said...

Huh? What'd *I* do?!?

Jeff said...

BTW, the penguin is 3D.

Just sayin'.

Jeff said...

Say. There's a thought. You could parody a cover from the old Four Colour/Dell "Frosty The Snowman" comics, only make it "Cerebus the Borealan Snowman", and throw in a drawing of your penguin plush toy.

Just a thought. But, really, why lock up the penguin plush toy in the attic 11 months out of the year when he could be a co-star on recurring "Cerebus The Borealan Snowman" covers twice a year, or so?

Just spitballin' here...

Birdsong said...

And before anyone asks, Swords of Cerebus In Hell? reprints the four issues with the covers in black and white, inside front and inside back covers. All four issues complete. THERE IS NOTHING EXTRA ADDED (unless Benjamin snuck something in at the last second). The point is that these are for people that missed getting them when they were first released. You have been warned. Keep calm, consider your purchase carefully. Attain nirvana.

Monthly or perhaps bi-monthly, no one knows yet but probably monthly. When we reach the end, or have less than 4 issues to collect the whole thing starts over at the first mini series again.

Cerebus In Hell? #0 will be re-released as a stand alone issue at some point and perhaps yearly after that.

Now you know all I know.

No one at Aardvark-Vanaheim knows everything that goes on at Aardvark-Vanaheim so that everyone maintains plausible deniability.