Impossible Things To Believe Before Breakfast:
5. A car with two steering wheels, two gas pedals and two brakes drives more efficiently than a car with one steering wheel, one gas pedal and one brake which is why marriage should always be an equal partnership.
Been working since 12:30 am with a 2 hr nap this afternoon, so this is going to be extremely truncated.
Two steering wheels, two brakes, etc. sounds like a good idea but I think it's a recipe for disaster in the domestic sphere. Originating in the fact that men are naturally more hunter-gatherers and women "nesters". The problem comes in because the average man's standards for domestic work are very low. The Off-White House is "not filthy" but it is not clean to the point of a woman's standards. Women do more housework because their standards are much, much higher. Something that isn't 97% clean for a woman is seen by them as potentially unhealthy. Which it is.
The IDEAL is nice: we'll BOTH do the housework. For a woman, a man's standards of "not filthy" just look like slacking, not caring, freeloading. We're supposed to BOTH be doing the housework. The house is going to look FILTHY to you long before it looks filthy to me so you'll clean it before I do. And resent it if I don't.
I think we will get back to what worked up to 1970 and which still works in much of the world: women in charge of the domestic environment and men in charge of "resources" or hunting gathering or whatever you want to call it. If it's how things are done GENERALLY in nature, then you are going to see that in the human sphere. Unless ideologues take over and decide to make the human sphere different from nature. The Feminist Theocracy wants the natural split eradicated, but that's purely self-interest, I think. For a "nester" to force herself to NOT be a "nester" and be a hunter-gatherer is cutting off her nose to spite her face. Which is easy for a masculine woman or a woman who wants to BE masculine. Better a pure Feminist Theocracy face with no nose on it than an "oppressed, subjugated" nose making a mockery of her Feminist Theocracy face. Women who accept that a nose and a face go together are going to be happier in the long run, GENERALLY.
"You wait 'til your father gets home". The other thing that used to exist was masculine discipline and corporal punishment. "A mother's heart contains nothing but love". I saw that on a sampler once. Very true! That's why they're lousy disciplinarians GENERALLY. They want their children to love them and they want their children to be happy 24/7. A spanked child is an unhappy child. Temporary unhappiness is important if an important lesson needs to be learned. Men are better able to suck it up in that area than women are, GENERALLY.
HOWEVER, because we live in a Feminist Theocracy, husbands and fathers have no rights. As long as you're zigging when she's zigging and zagging when she's zagging two steering wheels are fine. If you try to start steering the domestic sphere in a different direction from the one she wants, in how your children are reared, in particular, you are in danger of finding out that your rights got legislated away decades ago in Family Law. She owns your children, lock, stock and barrel.
I went through the custody battle for Craig Miller's daughter from the sidelines. I kept trying to tell him, Craig, you're going to lose (I held out a slim hope that because it was a Texas vs. Ohio thing, with Craig in Texas -- well, I mean, okay. TEXAS. Father's rights, right? -- No sir). Take what she gives you because that's ALL you're going to get and be prepared to say goodbye to your daughter permanently.
Getting married and having a child when you don't understand HOW much of a Feminist Theocracy we live in. Well, I feel for you, in a way (Apart from the fact that I'm not a "feel" kind of guy). But you should have recognized the nutcracker you were putting yourself into. A father is going to LOVE his kid(s). Definite CAPS. You will be deeply, deeply connected. But, you will not have a legal leg to stand on. Even when the courts find in your favour, they will not ENFORCE that decision. A Feminist Theocracy mother is a steamroller and she WILL flatten you if she's decided that you are in the way. NO court will go toe-to-toe with a mother and TELL her to do something. SHE will do what she thinks is best. Period. And the court WILL get out of her way.
Craig and his wife, like all couples, started out with the best will in the world to have a completely equal "two steering wheel two brake car". It's nice when it works. But when it doesn't work, it's a bloodbath.
When I visit the 5K (5 kids) Kitchens, I spend most of my time in the kitchen, because I want to visit with Mike AND Erika. If I sit in the living room or the dining room, I'll see Erika for 20 seconds until she thinks of something ELSE she needs to do in the kitchen. I stay out of the way. But it's wonderful to watch. It's like a ballet. A woman who IS just who she is: a wife and mother, given over wholly to what I'm pretty sure are MOST women's natural interests and enjoyments.
No way of proving that "MOST", and -- 46 years into the Feminist Theocracy -- I'll never live to see it reassert itself, but I'm pretty sure it will.
Okay. Prayer time.