I don't know WHEN Jen's coming back. I asked, and all I got was this: (ya might wanna click this to open a new window. If you're reading on your phone and it won't let you do that, then no ambiance for you...)
Choose-Your-Own-"Jen"venture, Chapter the first:
As you make your way up the steps to the temple gates, you begin to hear rhythmic chanting. It has been a hard climb up the side of a mountain in timbucfuckyou and you are starting to wonder if trying to find DiGiacomo is really worth it. In your mind's eye, you can still picture the meeting with "Manly" Matt Dow in his palatial office in downtown Manitowoc Wisconsin three weeks ago...
"Listen, I have no idea when Jen's gonna be back. I don't even know if she IS coming back. All I ever get are stupid fortune cookie messages like 'the wind speaks, and the wise one listens' or 'water never struggles'. I don't know if she's in some Chinese commune, or on her way to the yogi the Beatles went to in India. Which is why I'm sending you to find her. Everything I know is in the file. Along with your plane ticket and an AMOC credit card. Get receipts, because my accountant isn't gonna authorize payment unless you can prove the charges were mission critical. Now get out of here. I need to call Fry and yell about my pictures of Spider-Man!"
Now here you are at a monastery on the side of a mountain where Jen MIGHT have been if the intel you were given was correct. The paper trail ran from New York City to South Korea to here which might be China, or might be just over the border. You know better than to broach the subject with the locals, you're a professional... Now here comes an elderly Asian man wrapped in a bedsheet set and looking like Steve Ditko's the Ancient One if you got him off of Temu...
"Ah yes, Zhēn xiǎojiě. She was with us for a short time. We taught her some ancient secret techniques that have been handed down for over five hundred generations. She took to them like a duck to water. We begged her to stay and join our order and become a Juéwù zhě, how you say 'illuminated one'. She would have had her every whim tended to like she was one of the gods. Alas, she claimed she had to leave to follow the path of...Suǒyǐ mén. And find, 'has kahn' I believe it was."
Unbelievable. Now you have to climb back down the #@%*ING mountain! You're not sure if you find DiGiacomo if you'll kill her or not...
Then as you start down the trail from the temple, a voice calls to you in English, "Hey you're looking for the American girl? I can help."
If you want to see if this is bullshit or not, comment "HELP".
If you'd rather find the nearest bar that has American Whisky, comment "SCOTCH"
Whichever gets the most votes by 4pm(CST) next Tuesday determines the next chapter...
Uh...okay then. You heard the mysterious voice. You (the audience) gets to decide where this goes from here... Anyway, Big Board:
- 135 pages released so far as mocked up and/or drawn by Dave Sim through 7 March 2022
- $22,045.00 raised to date from 423 donations
- $155 away from unlocking page 136.
- If you have not donated, a $5+ donation gets you access to all 135 pages and all future unlocked pages. Donate once or set up monthly donations here https://www.gofundme.com/f/sdoar-2023
- If you have donated, why not donate again! All money goes to Dave Sim to continue his work on The Strange Death of Alex Raymond.
SDOAR GoFundMe -->> https://www.gofundme.com/f/sdoar-2023
 |
| An UNREADABLE copy of glamourpuss #10! |
A 9.8 SLABBED gp #10. Which, according to the CGC Census is the ONLY copy they've slabbed. So it's the HIGHEST graded copy they've dealt with (also: the lowest...).
AND, I'll include cheap-o printouts of the interior so you CAN read the issue while you stare at your prized collectable...
RULES (gotta have RULES...otherwise it's all Anarchy, and people going cannibal and and other signs of the Apocalypse...):
- $5 per entry. The only money that counts is money donated to the GoFundMe SINCE July 1st, 2026. All that money you've been throwing at Dave via Jen for the past how long won't help you here...
- No limit on the number of entries you can have. As long as you remember it's only NEW money that counts. While Dave (and Jen) deeply appreciate all the money you've donated over the years (I don't give an aardvark's taint sweat...), it's just money that comes in NOW that gets you unreadable glamourpuss...
- Raffle ends on Labor Day (that's September 7th 2026 for the "calendar challenged"). That gives Everybody! time to donate, and Jen and I time to determine who wins.
- International winners might be asked to kick in for shipping (it cost me $43 to ship a VIEWMASTER Reel to Canada... the USPS ain't what it used to be...)
- Bonus entries will be made available to the winners of the swimsuit/private interview/talent/health & fitness/evening gown/& on-stage conversation categories. So choose your outfits and performances wisely...
- Having read the minutes for the Graft: Boon or Blessing Panel, bribery will NOT be tolerated if it messes up my taxes...
- "And remember, your answers must be in the form of a question..."
- Margaret, if you win, this counts as both PTO AND year end bonus...
- Good luck! (How and Why this is a Rule is a mystery to Everybody!...)
This, then:
Next Time: Well, if you mean next Tuesday, that kinda depends on what you people comment, now don't it?
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