Tuesday 20 October 2020

Wherein Matt talks out his ass like in an early Jim Carrey movie...

Hi, Everybody!

As you all know, Wilf Jenkins was the Aardvark/Vanaheim lawyer for years, and during that time he was on the comp list. Wilf saved all his copies. Dave and Wilf have signed them, and there's a certificate of authenticity. The books will be available from Looking For Heroes, for $10 (CAD) plus $4 dollars shipping to Canada and $5 dollars shipping to the USA. All the money goes to the Food Bank of the Waterloo Region.

You can order HERMANN #1! (The NEW CiH?), and on the last Wednesday of the month (the 28th), pick up the Vault of Cerebus, And when you're there, you can buy Batvark: PENIS (in stores NOW! (Possibly along with the "Censored For Grandma" Variant, Batvark: XXXXX.).) If you're in the market for a "Virgin" Batvark: Penis (limited to ONLY 253 copies!), Benjamin Hobbs has one on eBay. And, signed copies of Vark Wars: Walt's Empire Strikes Back (Signed by Dave, Signed by Dave and me, Signed by me after I scribble out Dave's name, Pretty much available Signed only...). 

And yesterday's You Don't Know Jack Update:
Hello backers!

This is just a quick note to let you know that MOST (not all-- see below!) packages have been shipped, and have been confirmed to arrive as far-flung as the UK (Thanks, Richard!). If YOUR package has shipped, you will have received an email from us with your tracking number and shipping information. (Thanks, Stamps.com!). 

There are however, a few (approximately 30) boxes that have not yet shipped!

CATEGORY A-- about fifteen shipments are awaiting a single replacement book! One of our boxes of Hermitage Awesomes books was waylaid, but has at long last made its way to its destination, Carson's House of Shipping in Alabama. These fifteen shipments will go out tomorrow, so look for your tracking info then!

Our apologies if you're one of the fifteen pledgers impacted by this. We really appreciate your support, and hope that you'll be holding your books in your hands very soon! Domestic shipping has been surprisingly fast so far, so that could be as soon as Saturday for some of you.

CATEGORY B-- about fifteen other backers STILL haven't filled out their survey, or sent us their address. Please please pretty please, fill out your survey!

I got a message from somebody who was looking for their package, and it turned out that they had filled out the survey, but hadn't submitted it. 

So, if Mr. Postman hasn't gotten you your rewards, maybe check to make sure you submitted your survey: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1349357665/you-dont-know-jack


Lastly, I wanted to let you know this is likely our next-to-last update for this project! The very next update will contain your FREEBIE GOODIE DIGITAL DOWNLOADS. And following that, targeted downloads will be sent to the groups of you who pledged for additional digital rewards.

We wanted to wait until everyone had a chance to see these books in print, as they were designed to be seen, before you peeped at them on a screen.

Carson and I have been discussing different possible follow-up projects to this, including the Big One-- a completed(ish) Strange Death of Alex Raymond! That's right, the 500-pound gorilla is on the horizon. More on this as soon as we have more info for you!


All the best,

Sean
I'm including this again to remind you to make sure you got your survey filled out. 
Please!!!
_______________________________

The Remastered Spawn #10 Kickstarter is at $48,780 (which is more than the Remastered Cerebus #1 raised), with twenty-three days to go. Speaking of the Remastered Cerebus #1, limited overstock is still available at cerebusoverload.com, of the book and the goodies.

And the Spawn #10 Kickstarter has stretch goals now:
What's the "Mystery" goal?

Well, ya didn't hear it from me, but it MIGHT be a Todd McFarlane exclusive cover.

"A Todd McFarlane EXCLUSIVE COVER?!?!?!?"

You didn't hear that from me.

I have NO idea what it is.

It MIGHT be an exclusive Todd Cover, it MIGHT be a Cerebus Action Figure. It MIGHT be Spawn #10 in Turkish. It MIGHT be a banana.

I don't @#$%ING know...

"I call bullcrap! You're 'in the know', you got your finger on the pulse of Cerebus fandom and $#!*..."

You'd think that, but you'd be wrong.

"You knew about the full-size Secret History of The Counterfiet Cerebus #1..."

True. But I don't know aardvark dick about this one.

"You know the street address of the Off White House..."

And I'll never tell... 

But I don't know $#!* about the 95K stretch goal.

Honest.

"You wouldn't tell us even if you knew..."

But I don't.

Honest.
Feel free to make wildly inaccurate guesses in the comments!

Next Time: Hobbs explains where he gets off asking a hundred bucks for a Virgin Batvark Penis...

7 comments:

RSS said...

I don't have a "wildly inaccurate guess"...
I do have something from a while back:
Re Dave's (very careful) response to religion/"coercion"
In turn... Dave now has to preface with:
Ralph S. is not one of god's creations :P

RSS said...

And from farther back:
"DeadVark" from "Deadpool" (of course)
And likewise a raspberry could be seen as antagonism
So correction:
Ralph S. is not one of 'god's creations' ;)
And the continuation that I didn't post (off topic):
Though I do agree with Hitchens (paraphrasing):
Religion is (one of) the most interesting subjects
Not least for how it's shaped (and twisted) humanity
Including suppressing fully half of our human potential for centuries
And still today...

Jeff said...

Okay, first: Matt? I do know the actual street address of the Off-White House. The building is actually comprised mostly of yellow-ish brick. Which, speaking technically, is off-white. Lately, Dave has been letting many more of us see the backyard and some of the insides and, of course, the...um...shed(?) outside. Amazingly, it is a non-descript house on a non-descript street, that is (truly amazingly) within walking distance of every place that Dave has ever lived or worked (as an adult or late teen).

It will house the presentation of the Cerebus Archive (the important pieces in the refurbished basement), and it will showcase Dave's studio (front room) and various and sundry artifacts.

I've been there, got the tour (before the foundation and basement were rebuilt), and I can say that, someday, it WILL be a shrine. Probably around fifty years after he and I are both worm food.

If any of you are interested in that actually happening (the shrine part, not the worm food part), please donate whatever you can to A/V, Inc. If you don't know the address, then look inside the front cover of any issue of "Cerebus".

It'll getcha there.

Jeff said...

BTW, been there, got the tour, DIDN'T get the t-shirt.

Margaret has all of them.

Grr.

Margaret said...

I'd give all my Cerebus' shirts up for a tour. . .I've driven past the off-white house and taken some pictures, but haven't gone in for the tour. . .yet.

Jeff said...

If anyone deserves a private tour, M, it's most certainly you.

Damian T. Lloyd, Esq. said...

Heck, I know the street address of the Off-White House. Dave's "Museum of Me" (tm) is now a "shrine"? That's really weird. Is that what he spends 12 hours a day working on? Sounds uncomfortably close to what he once called out Yoko Ono for doing. Dave's a strange guy.

-- Damian