Tuesday, 30 July 2019

"Time Machine and a Coat Hanger!" "Manly" Matt Dow's FIRST glamourpuss pitch

Hi, Everybody!

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You should order a COLOUR YOUR OWN CEREBUS IN HELL? #1 Diamond Order Code AUG191433
Also, the EXPERTLY REMASTERED CHURCH AND STATE VOL II is available to order NOW (Diamond Order Code JUL191359) Submit your ideas for the bookplate contest.


Hey! 'emember glamourpuss #25/Zootanapuss #4? Specifically, the page I plotted and co-scripted?

Well, from the depths of the AMOCHIVE, I bring you an excerpt from “Time Machine and a coat hanger!” The Making of glamourpuss #25/ Zootananpuss #4, page 9*:

So, how did Iguana and Beer end up in glamourpuss #25?  Well, my sophisticated friend, therein lies a tale…

It all started August 2011. I got off of work and called my house to tell my mom, who was babysitting my daughter, something or other.  And the phone was busy.  “Why would Mom be on the phone?” I wondered. 

So I get home and mom says, “You’ll never guess who I just talked to…Dave Sim.”

Apparently Dave called for me, and ended up talking to my mom for ten minutes.

“Why would Dave be calling for me?” I wondered.  It was unusual for Dave to call, but not unprecedented. Dave had called back in 2007 when he was gearing up for the glamourpuss virtual tour and asked my advice on where he should go to promote glamourpuss.

 But why now?

(I think,) I called Dave back and left a message letting him know I was home and what times I’d be available to talk for the next few days.

And later that night, while I was doing the dishes, Dave called back.

He told me that he really liked Racecar Comics #5 (still available *hint hint*) and thought it was really funny, especially the bit with the Uncanny Farmcats. (What am I talking about? I guess you should buy an issue and find out, huh?) …and, that he was wondering if I would like to pitch a 5 page story for glamourpuss?

Would I?

Does the Pope know a lot of pedophiles?

You bet your sweet bippy I would like to pitch a story for glamourpuss.

We talked for a little bit about ideas. 

There was one idea about babies that were “glamourpusses (glamourpi?) in training.” (My wife and I, having just had our first child, had a large stack of baby-photo-filled magazines.)

Then Dave had to go, and I had to finish the dishes.

Well that night and the next day I started plotting.:
“Double-page spread: Image of a baby carriage in the distance on the left-hand-side of page one.  On right-hand-side of page two, hand holding a half-full champagne glass with a pacifier in it. Text glamourpuss: “glamourpuss thought babies were helpless little bundles of joy until one of her new rent-a-kids threw her ‘bibby’ twenty feet into glamourpuss’ $6000 dollar-a-bottle glass of 1977 Chateau du Fourmilier…” 

“Nope, that’s two pages, and we’ve only got five to work with…”

And plotting:
“Maybe Dave will recognize my genius and hire me on full-time to do the glamourpuss half of the book.”

“Money and Power, and Money and Power…”
So between delusions of grandeur and work and life and stuff a month went by.

My third or fourth idea was “glamourpuss VS Iguana VS Beer”.  Looking back, I suppose it was inevitable.  My mini-comics career had started with “Cerebus VS Iguana VS Beer” (no longer available as a flipbook to Racecar Comics #1, so I guess your back issue’s worth some money now!) So teaming my two morons with gp seemed like a good idea.

The initial idea was written down on a note at my day job. “gp VS Iguana VS Beer. Beer (to gp): I want you to have primary custody of my babies” and “GP talks in third person Iguana imitates her: ‘Iguana likes taquitos. Iguana thinks we should get Mexican”

So, here’s pitch one:
This is the cover sheet.

Which is a parody of Cerebus VS Iguana VS Beer #1:

And yes, my drawing of Dr. Rev. Martin Luther King is saying "Whatchu talking about Dave Sim?" 'cause I'm classy...

This is where the title "Time machine and a coat hanger." comes from.
See, the joke is that it IS a Dream and a hoax, and an Imaginary Story...

The big problem, was I assumed Dave had a stockpile of images of models to use as reference, he did not.

Next Time: Dave's response to this pitch. Wait, no. Tomorrow is Wednesday, Hobbs does Wednesdays. Then it's Margaret and the notebooks, then Friday is the Weekly Update, then Saturday should be August's Please Hold For Dave Sim, so...Sunday?

*Advance praise for glamourpuss archive:

"Up until an hour ago, I would have stated for a fact that [Jeff] Seiler's CEREBUS READERS IN CRISIS was the most uncalled-for example of Dave Sim Ephemera to hit the market, but I think you have him beat with this one."
Dave Sim
Creator- Cerebus, glamourpuss, Judenhass, The Strange Death of Alex Raymond


Jeff said...

Okay, I've only gotten just past the "ten-minute conversation with my mom" part (which made me LOL for a good, long while), and (it occurs to me): I would pay good money to see ... um ... Matt & Dave's Traveling Road Show.

Although, I gotta say, Dave once had a five-minute conversation with my then-girlfriend, Kaye. For which, I was present, and she declined to tell me what he said. "But, he's very nice," she said.

When Dave gets on the phone, which is rare, he's a talker.

Some guy you know said...

Okay, that was fun. You are a *way* funnier writer than is Mr. Slim.

If only you could draw your way out of ... um, a VERY large paper bag ...

Mouse Skull Entertainment said...


You ARE aware that I post videos of Dave and I talking the first Saturday of every month, right?

I literally mentioned it in this post...

"Manly" Matt

Jeff said...


Jeff said...

Appropos of nothing related here, I highly recommend the movie, "Public". It's not great, but the scenes of people asking for information are *very* funny. Including the question, "Why were so many Civil War battles fought in National Park sites?"

Jeff said...

And, Matt? Buddy? TRAVELING raod show.