A "pleasant" surprise, and a cautionary tale wherein you learn something nobody needs to know...

Hi, Everybody!

Dave's calling on Thursday, so get your questions in to momentofcerebus@gmail.com
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If you missed the Kickstarter for Dave and Carson Grubaugh's You Don't Know Jack, there's an Indiegogo, which is going to be ending any minute now, which is good news for me, as I've run out of Indy to go go...

And in the latest update, Carson drew a SURPRISE one of his "Google-Image Grab-Bag Sketches" for me:

And for MANLY MATT DOW, whose work at momentofcerebus.blogspot.com we are all forever grateful for, comes the sketch "Prehensile Dolphin Penis", a phrase I chose because because Matt informed me about this fact of nature at some point and I thought it would make hilarious surprise. I am so sad I cannot find the original message to quote from.

https://youtu.be/158mlfM9zjM

Matt, if you want to make an actual request I am happy to do you a second piece (pun DEFINITELY intended).

Carson may have forgot, but it's from my Kickstarter backer survey, Kickstarter wouldn't let me leave anything blank, so I answered everything:

If you increased your pledge to add an additional reward, please let us know the details of that here!
I didn't, but I'll take any extras you got laying around ;^)
Did you increase your pledge for personalization of signature? If so, please type how you'd like your signature personalized here! Otherwise leave this blank.
I didn't, but kickstarter is saying I missed a line, so I'm filling in everything.
If you increased your pledge for a Google Grab-bag sketch, the what would you like your text prompt to be?
I did not.
Is there anything else you'd like to tell us?
A dolphin has a fourteen inch prehensile penis.

Now, WHY I know that is a cautionary tale...

About twenty or more years ago, my friend Jeff

"Seiler?"

No, my other friend Jeff

Tundis?!?

No, my OTHER other friend Jeff, had subscribed to an email list of weird and disturbing things. There were odd photos and links to weird websites.

One time, there was a link to a website from a "zooaphile" who was attracted to dolphins (the guy explained that it wasn't bestiality because the animals and people love each other.)

And then proceeded to describe dolphins sex organs and how to have sex with them. That's how I learned that male dolphins have fourteen inch prehensile penises. I also learned that when a male dolphin is aroused, his belly will turn pink, and he'll wrap his penis around the female and dive, and other things about dolphins and sex that nobody really wants to know...

"Uh...okay and I need to know this why?"

I'll get back to that in a second...

So, after seeing this website, I made my friend Jeff print it out for me. Because I had found the End of the Internet. When you reach the "how to @#$% a dolphin" you've hit the End of the Internet. And I wanted a copy, so I could hand it to people who didn't believe me when I said the Internet had an ending.

NOW, the reason it's good to know that a male dolphin has a fourteen inch prehensile penis, and when aroused their belly will turn pink, and they'll will wrap their penis around the object of their desire and dive is that about a year after reading this website, I saw a Dateline episode about a woman who was swimming with the dolphins somewhere when a male dolphin got aroused wrapped his dick around her leg and dove and nearly drowned her. And I thought "damn, that's why you don't swim with dolphins that have pink bellies..."

The more you know

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Spider-Whore!

The Amicable Spider-Vark is in stores, which is the lead in to Spider-Whore, which was SUPPOSED to be the immediate sequel, but Batvark: PENIS ended up taking Spider-Whore's slot when COVID-19 threw everything up into the air.

Speaking of Spider-Vark, A Moment of Cerebus is facilitating Aardvark/Vanaheim's auctioning of a signed copy of the mis-stapled The Amicable Spider-Vark #1. Bidding is at $100 American dollars (plus shipping) to Rich Laux. I think I'm gonna end this on Tuesday.

Cerebus masks and whatnots with all the money going to Dave.

Also ending Tuesday: "Cerebus in Hell? 4 Sell". With all the profits going to Aardvark-Vanaheim.

If you missed the Waverly Press Kickstarter for the Remastered Cerebus #1, limited overflow of the rewards are available at cerebusoverload.com.

And Signed copies of Vark Wars: Walt's Empire Strikes Back (Signed by Dave, Signed by Dave and me, Signed by me after I scribble out Dave's name, Pretty much available Signed only...)

Next Time: Oliver and a whole mess of links, but after today's cautionary tale, you're not gonna click any of them, are you?